DO NOT ENGAGE IN SARCASM AND TAUNTING

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Masud (may Allah Ta’ala be pleased with him) has narrated that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said,

“A Momin (a person with faith) is not someone who taunts, who wishes others bad luck, who uses vulgar language, or who speaks harshly.”
All these sins are related to a person’s way of talking.

WHAT IS A TAUNT? (طعنه)
Taunting means making an indirect comment during a conversation with an intent to insult or hurt someone. It is a great sin and the Holy Prophet ﷺ has said that it is not becoming of a Muslim to taunt someone.

WORDS CAN INJURE
In Arabic language taunting (طعنه) means attacking someone with a spear. There is a verse in Arabic which says that a wound caused by a spear heals, but a wound caused by words doesn’t. When a person hurts someone’s feelings badly it takes a long time for that person to forget that hurt. This a violating a person’ honour.

THE SANCTITY OF A MUSLIM’S LIFE, PROPERTY AND HONOUR
While giving a sermon at the time of his last Hajj, the Holy Prophet ﷺ asked the Sahabah (Holy Companions), “What day is it in which I am talking to you?” The Sahabah said, “O Rasool Allah ﷺ! This is the Day of Arafah.” Then he asked, “What is this place where I am standing?” The Sahabah said, “This is the Holy Haram.” Then the Holy Prophet ﷺ asked, “Which. Month is it in which I am delivering this sermon?” The Sahabah replied, “This is the Holy month of Zul Hijjah.” Then the Holy Prophet ﷺ said,

“O Muslims! Your lives, your property and your honour are as Hara’am (unlawful) for each other as this day, this place and this month is Hara’am.”

What it means is that Allah Ta’ala has granted the same sanctity to the life, property, and honour of a Muslim, as He has granted to this holy place and holy month.

WHAT IS HOLIER THAN BAIT-ULLAH?
Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Umar 9may Allah Ta’ala be pleased with him) narrates that once the Holy Prophet ﷺ was doing Tawaaf (طواف) of Ka’abah. While doing the Tawaaf he said addressing the Ka’abah, “O Baitullah (home of Allah)! You are so sacrosanct, so holy, so exalted.” Then, addressing Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Umar RAA he asked, “Do you know of something that is even holier, even more exalted, than Baitullah?” Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Umar RAA replied, as the Sahabah (Holy Companions) always replied, “Allah Ta’ala and his Messenger know best.” Then the Holy Prophet ﷺ said, “I will tell you about one thing that is even holier than the Ka’abah. That is a Muslim’s life, their property, and their honour. If a person unduly harms any of these it is like he is demolishing the Ka’abah.”

GREAT REWARD FOR BEING SENSITIVE TO OTHERS’ FEELINGS
If a person consoles another person in their time of distress, or says something to them which makes them happy, or is sensitive to another person’s feelings, then this act brings great
rewards and thawab (eternal reward) from Allah Ta’ala for them. Moulana Romi has expressed the same sentiment in a verse:

دل بدست آور که حج اکبر است

Supporting a person’s heart earns the thawab equivalent to that of a great Hajj (حج اکبر). Taunting someone, on the other hand, is breaking someone’s heart and hurting their feelings and is a major sin.

BE KIND WHEN POINTING OUT MISTAKES
Sometimes people wonder that on the one hand, we are being told to bid the fair (امر بالمعروف) and forbid the unfair (نہی عن المنکر) meaning encouraging people to do good deeds and refrain from committing sins, while on the other hand, we are being told not to hurt anyone’s feelings. How can we reconcile between the two? The way to reconcile between the two is that whenever you do Tableegh (preaching) to anyone, speak kindly and softly, do it when you are alone with them, do not embarrass or humiliate them in front of others, do it with sincerity and love, and do it in a way which hurts their feelings as little as possible. Pointing out people’s mistakes publicly, and in a humiliating and shaming manner, is hurtful to people’s feelings and that is why it is Hara’am (unlawful) and a sin.

A MOMIN (BELIEVER) IS A MIRROR FOR ANOTHER MOMIN
In a Hadith the Holy Prophet ﷺ said,

“A Momin is a mirror for another Momin.”

It means that just like the mirror shows a person standing in front of it if there is a mark or blemish on their face so that they can rectify it, similarly, a Momin tells another Momin if he sees any flaw in him.

DO NOT HUMILIATE PEOPLE PUBLICLY
While elaborating upon the Hadith above, Hazrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta’ala bless him) used to say that most people understand that the reason the Holy Prophet ﷺ has compared a Momin to a mirror is that just like a mirror shows a person his flaws, similarly a Momin tells another Momin about his flaws. But there is another characteristic of a mirror that people don’t always think about which is that a mirror only tells that person who is standing right in front of it about his flaws, it does not tell any other person about that person’s flaws. Similarly, it is the duty of a Momin to only tell the person who has the flaws, kindly and softly, about their flaws. They should never publicize those flaws in front of other people or humiliate or embarrass them publicly. It is not becoming of a Muslim to insult other people, to ridicule them, or to expose their weaknesses in front of others.

POINT OUT MISTAKES BUT DO NOT HUMILIATE
So, in this Hadith the Holy Prophet ﷺ has advised us that while it is a Momin’s (believer) duty to sympathetically and kindly point out if he observes a mistake in a fellow Muslim, but it is equally important that he takes care not to insult or humiliate that person in front of other people, and keep his flaws hidden from others.

HAZRAT MUSA (MOSES) (PEACE BE UPON HIM) AND PHARAOH
Hazrat Mufti Muhammad Shafi (may Allah Ta’ala bless him) used to say that (as narrated in the Holy Quran) when Allah Ta’ala was sending Hazrat Musa (Peace be upon him) to convey Allah’s message to Pharaoh, Allah Ta’ala advised him;
“Go, both of you, to Pharaoh; he has indeed transgressed all limits. So speak to him in soft words. May be, he accepts the advice or fears (Allah).” (20:43-44)
Hazrat Mufti sahib used to say that today there can be no greater preacher than Hazrat Musa (peace be upon him), and no one can be a greater sinner than Pharaoh, about whom Allah Ta’ala knew that he was going to die a non-believer. And yet Allah Ta’ala is advising Hazrat Musa AS to speak softly to him. Who then can have the right to speak harshly to people when trying to convey Allah’s message to them today?

PROPHETS’ WAY OF PREACHING 1
Prophets of Allah never engaged in sarcasm or taunting, or replying harshly to harsh words, when doing Tableegh (preaching). Even if their opponents taunted and insulted them, they never replied in kind. It was probably Hazrat Hud (ہود) (Peace be upon him) whose people said to him, “we think you are a fool, and we think you are a liar”. In return Hazrat Hud AS said, “O’ my people. I am not a fool. I have brought a message from Allah Ta’ala.”

PROPHETS’ WAY OF PREACHING 2
Another Prophet’s people said to him, “We think you are in the wrong.” In reply the Prophet said, “O my people! I am not misguided. Instead I have come as a Prophet from Allah Ta’ala.”
This was the way in which the Prophets replied to taunting and sarcasm.

DO NOT RESPOND HARSHLY TO HARSH WORDS
Therefore, we should not respond harshly to harsh words when conveying Allah Ta’ala’s message as this is not the Sunnah of Allah Ta’ala’s Prophets. Even though under Shariah, if someone abuses us, we do have a right to respond in kind, but the Holy Prophets and their followers never used their right to take revenge. The Holy Prophet ﷺ never utilized his right to take revenge for personal grievances, and always forgave his enemies.

FORGIVE RATHER THAN TAKE REVENGE
What real harm does a person come to if someone uses harsh or abusive words towards them? Rather, when someone uses abusive words towards us they transfer their good deeds to our account. If we do not take revenge, to the extent we are entitled to under Shariah, and rather forgive them, then Insha’Allah (God willing) Allah Ta’ala will forgive us.

The Holy Prophet ﷺ said that if a person forgives another person, then Allah Ta’ala will forgive him on the day he will need forgiveness most (the Day of Qiyamah). Therefore, we should let go of the desire to take revenge, and forgive people if they say or do something that hurts us.

FORGIVENESS EARNS GREAT REWARDS FROM ALLAH TA’ALA
These days we frequently hear people complaining that others amongst their family, friends or acquaintances have been unfair to them or have not been nice to them. This grows from complaining, to backbiting, to taunting and sarcasm, to tarnishing their reputation amongst common acquaintances, to plotting ways of trying to harm them. These are all sins. On the other hand, if we forgive them then this act earns great merit and thawab from Allah Ta’ala. In Quran Karim Allah Ta’ala says;

“And if one observes patience and forgives, it is, of course, one of the courageous conducts.” (42:43)

In another verse the Holy Quran says;

“Repel (evil) with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with will turn as if he were a close friend.” (41:34)

And in the very next verse adds,

“And no one is blessed with this (attitude) but those who observe patience, and no one is blessed with this (attitude) but a man of great luck.” (41:35)

AVOID HURTING OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS
So, the first point the Holy Prophet ﷺ is making in this Hadith is that it is not becoming of a Momin (believer) to taunt other people. Therefore, we must refrain completely from sarcasm, taunting and making cruel or hurtful comments, because if we hurt a person’s feelings and cause them distress as a result then it ends up being a Major Sin (گنا ِه کبیره) which will not be forgiven even if we perform Taubah (repentance), until the person whose feelings have been hurt forgives us.

We must always be mindful that we do not talk to other people in a manner which is unduly hurtful, spiteful or unkind. Even if we are unhappy with someone, we should tell them in private, in a soft and kind tone, that what they said or did hurt our feelings or caused us unhappiness. We should not insult, embarrass or humiliate them in front of other people, and should take care not to hurt their feelings in return. May Allah Ta’ala make this our usual practice. Ameen.

A MUSLIM DOESN’T CURSE
The second sentence in this Hadith is,
“A Muslim does not curse”.
Once Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (may Allah Ta’ala be pleased with him) became angry with his slave. He uttered some words cursing that slave under the influence of that anger. The Holy Prophet ﷺ who was coming from behind, heard that curse. He said,

“You are a Siddiq and you curse too. I swear upon the God of Ka’abah that this can’t be.”

As soon as Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq RAA heard the Holy Prophet ﷺ say that a Siddiq does not curse, he immediately said, “O Prophet of Allah ﷺ. I grant this slave his freedom.”
This Hadith warns us that besides taunting, we should also refrain from cursing anyone.

A MOMIN DOES NOT USE VULGAR LANGUAGE
The third thing the Holy Prophet ﷺ said in this Hadith is that

“a Momin does not use vulgar language.”

Even when we are angry and are expressing anger towards someone, we should always be mindful not to use vulgar or improper language, because as the Holy Prophet ﷺ says it is not becoming of a Muslim to use vulgar or indecent language.

A MOMIN DOES NOT USE FOUL LANGUAGE
In the next sentence in this Hadith, the Holy Prophet ﷺ said,

“A Momin (believer) is not ‘Buzee’ (بذی).

Buzee is a person who uses foul language, an ill-mannered person. While describing the characteristics of a true believer the Holy Prophet ﷺ is saying that a true believer is someone who does not use foul language or bad words when talking to other people. Rather, he or she stops himself from using indecent words.

SOFTNESS BEAUTIFIES EVERYTHING
In a Hadith, the Holy Prophet ﷺ said to Hazrat Aisha (may Allah Ta’ala be pleased with her),

“Softness makes everything beautiful, while if softness is taken out of something this makes it flawed.” (Sahih Muslim)

So, whenever a person talks, even if he or she is angry, they should never use foul language or harsh words, and should always be soft spoken.

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF HOLY PROPHET ﷺ IN TORAH AND INJI’L
In the characteristics of the Holy Prophet ﷺ mentioned in Torah and Inji’l, one of the sentences is,

“He will neither be vulgar, nor will he use foul language, he won’t be one of those who raise their voices in the Bazar, rather he will be forgiving and forbearing.”

FOLLOW THE SUNNAH OF THE HOLY PROPHET ﷺ IN MANNERS TOO
Some people restrict following the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet ﷺ in rituals only, for example, putting the right foot in first when entering the mosque, and putting the left foot out first when exiting it. Of course, these are great Sunnah of the Holy Prophet ﷺ and one should try to follow these Sunnah as much as one can. But Deen (religion) is not limited to following these external behaviours only.
It is an integral part of following the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet ﷺ that we follow his Sunnah in our manners and etiquettes too. Especially when we are dealing with other people the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet ﷺ dictates that we are not harsh or vulgar, we do not use foul language, rather we are soft spoken and take care not to say things which hurt other people’s feelings.

THE CURSE OF A CURSE
The Holy Prophet ﷺ has said that when a person curses another person, at first that curse goes to the heavens, and then returns to the person who has been cursed. If that person deserves that curse then it affects him, but if he doesn’t deserve that curse then it returns to the person who had made that curse and harms him.
May Allah Ta’ala make us refrain all the sins of speech mentioned in the Ahadith above. Ameen

وآخر دعوا ان الحمد ﷲ رب العالمين