THINKING ILL OF OTHERS AND UNDUE CURIOSITY-Part 2

Hadhrat Thanavi (may Allah have mercy on him) said;

“The real treatment of thinking ill of others (Badgumani), undue curiosity (Tajassus), and Gheebat (backbiting) is to adopt Tawazu’ (humility) and remove Takabbur (arrogance, grandiosity) from one’s heart. But until one gets rid of these core spiritual illnesses, until such time he should treat his illness of Gheebat in the following way; (1) reflect and ponder before you say anything, (2) fix some fine on yourself if you do slip up (and commit Gheebat), and (3) divert your attention towards Allah Ta’ala’s Dhikr (remembrance) when you get bad thoughts about others.”

In this quote, Hadhrat Thanavi RE has suggested two treatments, one permanent, and the other temporary and immediate. Then he has described three forms of the temporary treatment. The first is that reflect and ponder before you say anything, as to whether I should say this thing or not.

Imam Shafa’i’s (RE) manner of speaking
Whenever someone asked Imam Shafa’i (may Allah have mercy on him) a question, he remained quiet for some time and did not answer the question immediately. Someone asked him, “Hadhrat, people ask you questions but you remain quiet for some time.” He replied,

“I remain quiet until it becomes clear to me whether it is better to speak or stay quiet.”

This is truly putting the saying “first weigh up what you are about to say, and then say it”, into practice.

Hadhrat Siddiq Akbar RAA punishing his tongue
It has been narrated that one day someone saw Hadhrat Siddiq Akbar (may Allah be pleased with him) twisting his tongue. People asked, “Hadhrat, why are you doing this?” He replied,

“This tongue has pushed me towards disaster.”

Who is saying this? Siddiq Akbar RAA. Who is Siddiq? The mirror image of a Prophet! And he is saying that his tongue has pushed him towards disaster. People whom Allah Ta’ala has granted wisdom are ever so careful about how they use their tongue, and are always careful about what comes of their mouth.

Therefore, if a person uses his tongue carefully and appropriately, it is a great blessing of Allah Ta’ala and is a vehicle for taking him to paradise. However, if he misuses it, and uses it to hurt other people indiscriminately, it is a curse and can take him to hell. If a person was a non-believer for 70 years but recites the kalimah “I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad ﷺ is His Messenger”, and dies shortly after it, he will go straight to Paradise. And if a Muslim of 70 years says a kalimah of Kufr and denies the existence of Allah Ta’ala (Ma’az Allah) (and does not renew his Iman before dying) he will go to Hell.

It has been narrated in a Hadith that many people will fall face down in Hell because of what their tongue has done. So, stop the habit of saying everything that comes to your mouth without reflection, and develop the habit of thinking first before uttering any words whether these words will lead me to paradise or Hell.

Turn towards Allah’s Dhikr (remembrance)
Another treatment to get rid of bad thoughts about other people is to turn towards Allah’s Dhikr. Start reciting Astaghfirullah (seeking forgiveness from Allah), recite Kalimah, or some Tasbeeh and divert your attention away from thinking bad things about other people.

Develop humility (Tawazu’)
However, these are all temporary treatments. The permanent treatment for getting rid of bad thoughts about other people is to develop humility. As mentioned previously, all these spiritual illnesses such as thinking ill of others, undue curiosity about other people’s sins, and Gheebat, all arise from having Takabbur and not having Tawazu’. In our hearts, we believe that I am better than everyone else, I am wiser than everyone else, I am a great scholar, I am very pious, and that is why it is okay for me to look down upon others. It is these thoughts of Takabbur that lead people to think low of others and badmouth them. The treatment for all of these spiritual illnesses is to develop Tawazu’.

How to develop Tawazu’ (humility)?
How can a person develop humility? In general, it is very difficult to do so without the mentorship of a Shaykh. (It is because it is difficult for most human beings to identify, confront and change their internal/spiritual weaknesses and flaws, all by themselves. A Shaykh observes and listens to the behaviours a mentee describes, makes a diagnosis, and then suggests a remedy. If it doesn’t work in first go, which it often doesn’t, the mentee should report back to the Shaykh who may then suggest a modified remedy.) It is only through owning up to one’s own weaknesses in front of a Shaykh, accepting his criticisms, and following his advice over a period of time, that a person gradually develops humility.

Until such time one finds a suitable Shaykh, a person should reflect on their own reality. Do I have any positive attributes that truly belong to me? Or all these all a gift from Allah Ta’ala? If I am healthy, can I make a claim that I will remain healthy forever? If I have knowledge, if I have wealth, can I claim that I can preserve these forever all by myself, without any help from Allah Ta’ala (Ma’az Allah)? Whatever good we have, whether it be money, knowledge, beauty or health, is a gift from Allah Ta’ala. He can take it back whenever He wishes, and we cannot keep any of those against His will.

The day we truly come to believe in our hearts that everything good about me is a gift from Allah Ta’ala, I am nothing by myself, I am no one, that day we will develop true humility Insha’Allah.

Listening to other people’s conversations surreptitiously
Hadhrat Thanavi said;

“Listening to other people’s conversations surreptitiously is included within the meaning of ‘Tajassus’ (undue curiosity). If a person is sitting behind a screen or a partition where the people talking can’t see him, he should let them know that he is sitting there, or should sit where they can see him.”

It means that deliberately eavesdropping on other people’s conversations without their knowledge is Haraam and is a sin. If two people start talking and someone is sitting where they can’t see him, he should let them know that he is sitting there, so that they do not say anything inadvertently that they wish to keep secret.

The root cause of social discord
If we truly start practicing the teachings of Shariah in our daily life then there will be no discord, no conflict in our society. Wherever there is social discord, it is due to neglecting some teaching of Shariah. For example, on the one hand the Holy Prophet ﷺ has commanded us;

“If there are three people in a gathering, then two of them should not start talking privately in a manner that the third one feels insolated.”

This is because the third one might feel that they may be talking about him, or want to hide something from him, which may hurt his feelings.

Don’t go where two people are talking privately
On the other hand, he also commanded that if two people are talking privately, another person shouldn’t go there until they have finished talking so that he does not disturb them or overhear what they are saying. All of these are teachings of the Holy Prophet ﷺ but these days people have restricted Islam to a few acts of worship only. If someone starts praying Salah, starts fasting, they start believing that they ‘entered Islam completely’. We are almost totally ignorant of social etiquettes of how to deal with other people that the Holy Prophet ﷺ has taught us, and act as if they are not part of Islam.

Similarly, you pick the phone to call someone but hear people talking on another line or extension. At this time, you should put the phone down immediately and stop listening to their conversation as it would be Haraam for you to listen to their conversation without their knowledge and permission. You go to someone’s home or office and see a letter on the table. Even if that person is not there, it is not permissible for you to pick up that letter and start reading it without that person’s permission. All these acts are Haraam and included within the meaning of Tajassus (undue curiosity).

In which situations is Tajassus permitted?
Often times people who are in management positions have to keep tabs on what is going in the institutions or departments they manage. If they don’t keep abreast of what is happening, then it may lead to disorder such as the head of an institution ensuring that no crime is being committed in their institution. The department of Police for example has been established for this purpose.

Hadhrat Umar Farooq (may Allah Ta’ala be pleased with him) used to do rounds of the streets of Madinah at night. Once during his night-time rounds he heard the sound of signing from one house and also heard some clinking of glasses. He suspected that people may be drinking alcohol in that house, and there also be some musical gathering going on. He jumped the wall and entered the house.

When Hadhrat Umar RAA entered, he saw that there was singing and dancing being done and alcohol being drunk. So he caught them red-handed. Their leader was very cunning. He asked Hadhrat Umar RAA, “Why did you catch us?” He replied, “Because you were having this music and dance party, and because you were drinking alcohol. You are guilty of all these crimes. Therefore, I apprehended you.” The leader said, “We had committed one crime, but you have committed several crimes. The first is that you committed Tajassus and you tried to find out what we were doing. The second sin you committed is that you entered our house without our permission and that is a sin. The third sin you committed is that you jumped the wall to enter our house and the Holy Qur’an says that enter houses through their doors. Therefore, we had committed one sin and you committed three.”

Hadhrat Umar’s (RAA) self-reflection
As soon as Hadhrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) heard this, he immediately performed Istighfar that “O’ Allah Ta’ala, if I have really performed these three sins, I seek your forgiveness for these”. If it had been somebody like us, we would have become angry with the other person that not only you have committed all these sins, but you also have the audacity to criticise me justifying your sins. But because these pious souls always kept looking critically at their inner-self, he did not try to defend himself when he was criticised. Therefore, he immediately performed Istighfar first.

The ruling by the Holy Companions
Then Hadhrat Umar RAA presented this matter in front of a group of the Holy Companions that this person is accusing me of committing these three sins. Did I truly commit the sin of Tajassus (undue curiosity)? Was committing this Tajassus permissible for me? Was entering these people’s house in this manner a sin that I committed?

After considering this matter the gathering of the Holy Companions issued this ruling that if the person in charge is concerned that people under consideration are committing a sin which can spread in wider society and it will exert deleterious effects on other people, then it is permissible for that person in charge to commit Tajassus, enter someone’s house without their permission, and even jump the wall to enter the house. However, if there is no risk of that bad habit influencing others in society, and whatever this person is doing its harmful effects would be limited to this person only, then in that case it is not permissible for the person in charge to do Tajassus and seek information about someone’s private affairs.

Listening to other people’s conversations while pretending to be asleep
Further on, Hadhrat Thanavi RE said;

“If a person lies down to sleep and others in his vicinity start talking believing him to be asleep, then if he is still awake he should let them know that he is still awake. However, if they were talking about him and wanted to harm him, then it is permissible for him to listen to their conversation.”

These days people think they are being very smart listening to other people’s private conversations pretending to be asleep. However, it is not permissible to do so under Shariah. Shariah commands us to tell the people who are talking that we are awake. However, if they are plotting to harm him, then he is allowed to listen to their conversation in this manner.

If two people are speaking in another language
Hadhrat Thanvi RE said;

“If two people are talking in Arabic or English, and the third person sitting there knows those languages but the people talking are not aware of that, then he should let them know that he knows those languages.”

The reason for this is that we should not create any situation in which we come to know other people’s secrets, unless they want to share those secrets with us.

Khawaja Azizul Hasan’s (RE) avoiding Tajassus
Khawaja Azizul Hasan (may Allah have mercy on him) was a disciple of Hadhrat Thanavi RE. He was a deputy collector in the days of the British Raj, which was a senior civil administration position, and was well versed in English, but because of Hadhrat Thanvi’s companionship he had a beard and wore traditional Indian dress. Once he was travelling in a train. There were two other people sitting close to him. Seeing Khawaja sahib’s appearance, they assumed he would not know English and started talking privately in English. Khawaja sahib understood that they wanted to talk privately so immediately said, “ I know English, so if you want to talk privately, I will move away somewhere so that you can continue to talk privately.”

All of these considerations are part of Deen, but today we act socially as if these have nothing to do with Deen. May Allah Ta’ala give us the motivation to act on these teachings of shariah too. Aameen

وآخر دعوا ان الحمد ﷲ رب العالمين