SITUATIONS IN WHICH GHEEBAT IS PERMISSIBLE

When is Gheebat permissible?
Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah be pleased with him) said;

“If there is a genuine religious need then Gheebat is permissible in those situations, for example, the way Muhaddithin (scholars of Hadith) have discussed the narrators of Hadith. However, if there is no pressing religious need, and the purpose behind Gheebat is only to do gossip and to enjoy it, then in those situations even telling someone’s true flaws (behind his back) is Haraam (unlawful), and saying something untrue without any effort to find out the truth is ‘Buhtaan’ (slander). The basis of what is said being a lie is not upon making an effort to confirm that it is a lie, but upon not making an effort to find out the truth.”

It means it is permissible to do Gheebat if there is a clear religious necessity to do so. For example, it was the duty of Muhaddithin to investigate how reliable the different narrators of Hadith were. If someone asked them about a particular narrator of hadith, they would answer with absolutely honesty whether that particular narrator was weak in his narration of hadith, was a liar, or was unreliable. It was because it was their religious duty to do so, and if they didn’t they would have been at fault. It was because this was the only way to preserve the authenticity and reliability of the Ahadith of the Holy Prophet ﷺ. Even though technically this constituted Gheebat but because it was done for an essential religious reason, it was permissible.

The story of Imam Abu Dawood RE
Imam Abu Dawood (may Allah have mercy on him), who was the author of Sunan Abu Dawood, holds an exalted status amongst Muhaddithin. His son Ibn Abu Dawood was weak in narration of Hadith. Once someone asked him what his opinion was about the Ahadith narrated by his son. He replied, “It is not permissible to quote Ahadith narrated by him.”

This is an example that in the matter of preservation of Ahadith, Muhaddithin did not hide the flaws of their fathers, their sons, or any other relatives. This is because their task related to preserving the Ahadith of the Holy Prophet ﷺ, and clearly pointing out when they felt a narrator was weak was their religious obligation. Allah Ta’ala had created this group of Muhaddithin so that they would perform the crucial task of preserving the treasure of the Ahadith of the Holy Prophet ﷺ. That is what Hadhrat Thanvi RE meant when he said that it is permissible to do Gheebat when it is a religious necessity, in fact, in some situations it may be mandatory to do so.

In absence of religious necessity Gheebat is Haraam

“But if there is no religious necessity and the purpose is only to enjoy and gossip, then even saying something true is that Gheebat which is Haraam.”

One needs to differentiate between whether what they are saying is due to religious necessity, or whether they are backbiting just for the sake of enjoyment and gossip. Sometimes when a person reflects on it carefully, then he realizes that in order to do Gheebat his Nafs (inner-self) has come up with this rationalization that what he was saying was because of a religious need. However, when he looks deeply into his heart he may come to the realization that there was no religious need, it was just his wish to enjoy gossiping. In that case it will be Haraam Gheebat even if what he said was true.

Repeating rumours without verification constitutes slander

“and if a person says something (about someone) without verifying it first, then it constitutes ‘Buhtaan’ (slander). The reason it will be considered untruthful is not because it is a confirmed lie, but because the person who said it did not confirm it as being true before saying it.”

It means something being considered a lie is not limited to it being proven to be a lie. Rather, if a person is repeating unsubstantiated rumours he has heard without verifying them to be true first, it will be as if he is telling a lie. It is because in a Hadith the Holy Prophet ﷺ clearly said;

“It is enough for a person to be a liar if he says everything he has heard onwards to other people.”

So, when we wish to do someone’s Gheebat the Satan teaches us the rationalization that what you are going to do is not a sin, it is a religious need, while in reality there is no religious need, people just want to get pleasure out of speaking ill of others. It is very difficult to differentiate between the two. Only a knowledgeable mentor can tell a person whether the Gheebat he is going to do is because of religious need, or just his need for enjoyment.

When a person commits Gheebat under the influence of Satan’s ruse that he is doing it for a religious need, it is much more dangerous than committing Gheebat when a person actually realizes that he is committing a sin by doing Gheebat, because this way he is trying to deceive Allah Ta’ala that “O Allah, the Gheebat I am committing is in the service of your religion”. Therefore, in this case the sin of Gheebat is compounded by the sin of lying to Allah Ta’ala. Such a person does not even see the need to repent from such Gheebat because he does not see it as a sin. May Allah Ta’ala protect us all from the sin of Gheebat through His blessing and mercy upon us. Aameen.

The distress of committing Gheebat
Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah have mercy on him) said;

“I do not know what pleasure people get from committing Gheebat. People get enjoyment for it from a little, but if the other person finds out then it may lead to enmity with lifelong consequences. And if a person has some self-awareness, then he will know that as soon as he commits Gheebat he feels such darkness in his heart that it causes great distress to that person.”

Because our hearts have become insensitive to the darkness of sins, that is why we keep committing sins and yet do not feel their effect on our hearts. When a person’s heart has been purified by Allah Ta’ala, they feel such darkness in their hearts after committing even a single sin that they feel as if their hearts are being crushed by a mountain.

What is the benefit of Gheebat?
To give up Gheebat one must keep reminding oneself that even if you spend time in committing Gheebat and get some enjoy out of it, what would be its long-term outcome? What benefit will attain from it? Eventually there is no benefit from it. In fact, one would have accrued a great sin for the Hereafter. Even in this world, if that person whose Gheebat you have committed finds out about it, who knows what will be the consequences of the enmity and bad feelings it will engender in his heart.

Gheebat leads to many other sins
It is common with the sins related to rights of people that if a person commits one sin, it leads to many other sins. For example, if a person commits someone’s Gheebat and that person hears and asks if he had committed his Gheebat. If he then admits it, he will feel ashamed. Otherwise, he may feel forced to lie about it that he hadn’t said anything like it, or he may twist to truth that I hadn’t said this, I had said that. If the other person then finds out that he had lied about it, it will lead to further malice and enmity. Therefore, why should a person do or say something which may give rise to bad feelings and hatred amongst people? There is no benefit in engaging in such acts, rather there is an additional harm that a person’s heart becomes used to sins.

The true treatment of Gheebat is humility (Tawazu’, تواضع)
Hadhrat Thanvi RE said;

“The primary treatment of Gheebat is Tawazu’ (humility), but a person does not develop humility in a day or two. So, until such time you develop true humility these are the steps you should start taking immediately to avoid continuing to commit Gheebat. Do not say anything without reflecting on it, first thing before you utter ant words. This way you will be able to reduce Gheebat immediately and, God willing, after a little while you won’t commit it at all. If occasionally you let something slip without thinking about it, pray two rak’at as Salat al-Taubah (prayer of repentance).” (Anfaas Essa)

In this quote the first thing Hadhrat Thanvi RE has said is that the primary remedy for never committing Gheebat again is to develop Tawazu’ (humility, believing others to be better than oneself) in one’s heart. Remember! Gheebat is always due to lack of humility. It is only a person who believes himself to be better than others and engages in Takabbur (grandiosity, arrogance) who commits Gheebat. If a person is aware of his own flaws, is preoccupied with improvement of his inner-self, then he does not have the time or inclination to discuss other people’s flaws. He is preoccupied all the time that I have this flaw and that flaw inside me, how do I get rid of these. On the other hand, if someone thinks he has no faults, he is perfect, he is better than others, only then he has the time and the inclination to investigate other people’s flaws and publicising them in front of others. So, the root causes of Gheebat are Takabbur (believing oneself to be superior to others, and others to be inferior to oneself) and Ujub (believing oneself to be superior to others). Once a person gets rid of this Takabbur and Ujub, he will never engage in Gheebat.

The Tawazu’ (humility) of our wise elders
I heard about this from Dr Hafiz Ullah (May Allah mercy on him) when he visited Darul Uloom Karachi. He said that once Maulana Khair Muhammad sahib (may Allah have mercy on him) said that when I used to attend Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi’s (may Allah have mercy on him) sittings, I used to feel that everybody in this gathering is better than me and I am the worst among them. They are all human beings and I am an animal. Then I wondered whether this condition of mine was correct. I visited Mufti Muhammad Hasan (may Allah have mercy on him) (founder of Jamia Ashrafiya Lahore) and mentioned this to him that when I attend Hadhrat Wala’s sittings I feel like I am the worst human being in that gathering, nobody is worse than or inferior to me in that gathering. Mufti Muhammad Hasan RE replied, “When I attend Hadhrat’s sittings I also feel exactly the same way that I am the most sinful person among all the people there. Lets go to Hadhrat Wala and ask him about it.”

So, both of these Ulema presented themselves before Hadhrat Thanvi RE and said to him that when we sit in this gathering, we feel that everyone else in this gathering is a better human being than us, and we are the worst, the most sinful, and the lowliest. Hadhrat Thanvi RE replied, “Do not worry. I feel the same way. When I sit in this gathering I feel that I am inferior to everyone else, and everyone is better than me.”

Tawazu’ (humility) eradicates Gheebat
Tawazu’ is not just that a person says verbally that I am a nobody, I am a humble person. True Tawazu’ is that a person is so focused on his own sins and flaws that he has no time or inclination to focus on other people’s faults. When a person has truly developed Tawazu’ then he never engages in Gheebat. This is because when he is focusing on his own faults and flaws, and is totally consumed with rectifying and eliminating his own weaknesses, other people’s flaws pale in comparison. So, the best remedy of getting rid of Gheebat completely is to develop Tawazu’.

Reflect on your own flaws
How to develop Tawazu’ (humility)? The way to develop Tawazu’ is to reflect on one’s own flaws. We have developed these false beliefs like, “I am the best. I am perfect. There is no one like me.” Some of us are arrogant about our knowledge, some about our wealth, some about our piety, some about our looks, and some about our health. This arrogance eventually destroys a human being.

The reality of a human being
A young person once said to an elder, “Do you not know who I am?” He replied, “Yes. I do know who you are. Your beginning was that you were born from a drop of dirty water. Your end will be that you will become a carcass and your own family members won’t want to keep you at home. And in between these two times, of your birth and your death, you are carrying kilos of filth inside your body.”

This skin that we have on our body, hides so many dirty things. It is covering so many impurities underneath. It covers blood, pus, urine, faeces, and all sorts of filth, which we are carrying all the time. This is our true reality. And a human being still believes that he is such a great being. These thoughts of Takabbur then lead a person to committing Gheebat.

So, the true treatment of Gheebat is to develop Tawazu’ (humility). Once a person develops Tawazu’ then Insha’Allah he will not commit anyone’s Gheebat. However, if there is a religious need then it is permissible to commit Gheebat. For example, if you know that two people are going to enter into a business transaction and one of them has a long history of defrauding his business partners, then you can tell the other person that beware of this person, his financial history is not very clean. This is not included in Gheebat.

The need for a Shaykh’s companionship
Experience tells us that it is not possible to develop Tawazu’ without the benefit of companionship and tutelage of a Shaykh. It is because human beings have a complex in their minds that whatever they are thinking is right, and whatever the person disagreeing with them is thinking is wrong. Until and unless one suppresses this way of thinking and trusts someone to the extent what I am thinking is wrong, and what you are telling me is correct, even if on the surface it seems to me that what you are saying is wrong, I will still obey what you are telling me, until that time he cannot get rid of Takabbur from within himself and cannot develop Tawazu’.

Maulana Zakariya’s (RE) advice
May Allah Ta’ala grant Shaykh al-Hadith Maulana Zakariya (may Allah have mercy on him) an exalted status in Jannah. Aameen. When my father (Mufti Muhammad Shafi sahib, may Allah have mercy on him) passed away, Hadhrat Shaykh al-Hadith wrote a long letter to me and my brother Maulana Mufti Rafi Usmani sahib DB. In this letter he gave many advices but one advice he gave was;

“I have heard that the superiority complex of being a great person’s son is very difficult to remove from one’s mind.”

This superiority complex is Takabbur and what he meant was that it takes a lot of time and effort to remove it from one’s mind. Through his letter he pointed out to us that we should worry about getting rid of this way of thinking. And then he said,

“one gets rid of this (superiority complex) only if one crushes his ego in front of someone else, and until one gets rid of it, the path to further progress does not open up.”

Fine yourself after committing Gheebat
But a person does not develop humility in one or two days. It takes a lot of effort and practice. It requires mentorship with a Shaykh and following his teachings. That is why Hadhrat Thanvi RE says that until such time that a person has developed Tawazu’, what he should do is that he should not say anything without reflecting on it first. And if he does commit Gheebat by mistake, he should set some sort of comeuppance. One sort of fine has been mentioned previously that if he commits Gheebat, he should skip a meal. Here he has described another punishment that he should read two Rak’at salat -al-Taubah. If he keeps doing it, Insha’Allah eventually he will stop committing Gheebat.

Wishing alone is not enough
A person cannot achieve anything worthwhile in this world by wishing for it alone. He has to work hard for it. If a person keeps wishing that his nature changes, he becomes a better person, he becomes more pious, but makes no effort for it, it is not going to happen. In a Hadith, the Holy Prophet ﷺ said;

“العاجز من اتبع نفسہ ھواھا و تمنّٰی علی اللّٰہ”

It means that ‘Aajiz’ (helpless) is that person who has left himself completely at the mercy of his wishes and desires, he goes wherever these desires take him (meaning he acts on these desires without even thinking about whether they are permissible or not), but he has all these hopes that Allah Ta’ala is very merciful, He is very forgiving, He will forgive all my sins.

So, wishing alone does not change anything. A person should also make some effort, take some action as much as he is able to, and then pray to Allah Ta’ala, “O Allah, I have made as much effort as I was able to, now please help me fulfil these wishes.”

Start progressing on Allah’s path
Does Allah Ta’ala wish to put us through unbearable effort (Ma’az Allah)? No. Allah Ta’ala just wants us to start progressing on His path a little bit. When a person starts making even a little bit of effort, Allah Ta’ala guides him Himself. In the Holy Qur’an Allah Ta’ala says;

“As for those who strive in Our way, We will certainly take them onto Our paths…” (29:69)

Hadhrat Thanvi RE used to give an example that when a child starts learning to walk, his father stands a little distance away from him and asks him to come to him. When the child takes one or two steps and starts falling, the father holds him and picks him up immediately. Similarly, if a person starts progressing on Allah Ta’ala’s path and starts falling, Allah Ta’ala will not let him fall and will hold him. When a father and a mother can’t see their child falling and getting hurt, how can Allah Ta’ala who is Rahman (All-merciful) and Raheem (Very-merciful), who has created parents, who has put this love in the parents’ hearts, let His creations fall and get hurt? All Allah Ta’ala wants to see is that His subject, His slave has started making an effort in Allah’s path out of his own free will, and then Allah Ta’ala guides him the rest of the way.

A practical treatment for Gheebat
Further on, Hadhrat Thanvi RE has described a unique practical treatment for Gheebat. This treatment is very difficult, but if someone does it Insha’Allah he will be able to quit Gheebat within a few days. He said;

“A practical treatment for Gheebat is that whenever a person commits someone’s Gheebat, he should let that person know that I have committed your Gheebat. Insha’Allah this illness of Gheebat will subside within a few days of this treatment.”

When a person goes and tells the victim that I have committed your Gheebat, he would be deeply ashamed and embarrassed, he would wish the earth would open up and swallow him, but if he keeps practicing it, this embarrassment and shame will become the cure for this illness. The other point is that when he admits to the victim that I have committed your Gheebat, the victim will also soften up that this person has come up to me with remorse so I should forgive him. Then hopefully the enmity and bad feelings that arise as a result of Gheebat will not arise. May Allah Ta’ala motivate us all to act on these teachings of Shariah. Aameen

وآخر دعوا ان الحمد ﷲ رب العالمين