Anger and its treatment 

Taken from ‘Usmani Discourses’, an English translation of selected abstracts from lectures given by Hadhrat Mawlana Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (damat barakatuhum). Compiled and translated (& at times paraphrased) by Dr. Syed Ahmer and edited by Albalagh editorial team.

 With the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Very-Merciful. Praise belongs to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds. Blessings and peace be upon the messenger of Allah, his family, and his companions.

Anger is the “mother of illnesses”

Uncontrolled anger is also one of negative moral traits. In fact, some Sufi saints have said that anger is the mother of many spiritual illnesses. It means that not only is this uncontrolled or excessive anger a spiritual illness in itself, but it also gives rise to many spiritual illnesses. For example, when a person loses control of his anger, he may start abusing people and swearing at them, start using inappropriate language, and if he gets even angrier, he may assault other people physically.

Other spiritual illnesses can arise as a result of anger

A person only expresses anger at someone who he considers himself better than or superior to. If he thought that the other person is better than him or superior to him, he would never express anger at that person. That is why Takabbur and Ujub are frequent accompaniments of uncontrolled anger. If a person is unable to express his anger, then this unexpressed anger can lead to resentment and internal hatred. Therefore, uncontrolled anger can lead to many spiritual illnesses. That is why when any person went to Sufi saints for purification of his inner-self, they used to treat his anger first.

The two main drivers of human behaviour

There are two main drivers that drive or motivate every human being’s behaviour; the first is anger, and the second one is desire. If you ponder deeply you will come to the conclusion that these two drivers are the root causes of all sins. That is why when a person goes to Sufi saints for purification of his inner-self, they treat anger first and guide the person about how to bring it under control. Because if a person’s anger is not under his control, it can lead him to numerous sins and mistakes.

Asking for brief advice

Once a Sahabi asked the Holy Prophet ﷺ, “O’ Prophet of Allah ﷺ! Please give me some advice, and give brief advice.” The Holy Prophet ﷺ did not become angry that he was asking for advice but was also putting a condition that it should be brief. It means that if the person seeking advice asks you to make it brief, then you should not feel angry because it is that person’s right. Maybe he was due to travel soon and he was in a hurry but you kept giving him a lecture for two hours. That would put him in distress. And if he was in a hurry and you keep giving a long lecture, then how would he concentrate on it and follow it. That is why a person who is giving advice to someone should be mindful of the other person’s circumstances.

Do not be angry

So, the Holy Prophet ﷺ gave him this brief advice, “Do not be angry”. This tells us that uncontrolled anger is the root cause of many evils. This is why the Holy Prophet ﷺ chose it among so many sins, misdemeanours and bad habits, to advise this person to refrain from it. If he wished, he could have said, “do not tell lies, do not commit backbiting, do not engage in adultery, do not steal, etc.,” but he did not choose any of these sins. He said, “do not be angry”. It must mean that losing control of one’s temper must be a great sin.

Anger is also necessary in certain situations

All the emotions that Allah Ta’ala has given human beings are necessary and appropriate too in certain situations. For example, if a person does not have any anger, he cannot remain alive. If an enemy or an animal attacks him, and he does not feel any anger at all, how would he defend himself? So, anger is also necessary for the protection of one’s life, one’s family, one’s property, etc.

A novice should not express anger at all

However, when a person contacts a spiritual mentor or Shaykh for purification of his inner-self, then the Shaykh tells him not to express his anger at all in any situation. It is because at that stage the mentee is unable to differentiate between the situations in which it is appropriate to express one’s anger, and situations in which it is not. So, he is told not to express his anger at all. This is Mujahadah – meaning that to avoid getting involved in sinful activities, a person sometimes has to give up some permissible activities too. Hadhrat Mawlana Yaqoob Nanotvi رحمہ اللہ used to explain this by giving an example that if we fold a paper in half and then try to straighten it, it won’t get straight and will bend to the side towards which it was folded. The only way to straighten it is to fold it towards the opposite side. It will then become straight.

Turn your Nafs in the opposite direction

Similarly, our Nafs (inner-self) has turned towards sins. When we try to straighten it, it does not remain straight and remains bent towards sins. If you want to bring it to the straight path, bend it in the opposite direction, meaning make it give up some permissible (Mubah) activities as well. As a result of giving up these Mubah activities, eventually it will come to the straight path. This is the core of Mujahadah. That is why Sufi saints say that in the beginning, stop expressing your anger completely. That way your anger will come under your control slowly and gradually. Once you have tamed your anger, then you will express it only where it is appropriate to do so, and will not be angry inappropriately and will not express it unduly harshly.

Hadhrat Thanvi رحمہ اللہ has recommended some remedies for bringing one’s anger under one’s control and I will explain these next.

The first treatment of anger: reflecting on one’s own flaws

While describing the first treatment of anger Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ said,

“(when feeling angry towards someone else), with effort start thinking about your own flaws and mistakes. Insha’allah it will reduce the intensity of your anger.”

A person had written to Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ in a letter that, “I lose my temper very easily, and become extremely angry even on trivial matters.” As a remedy Hadhrat suggested that when you start feeling angry, at that time make a conscious effort to reign in your anger and start thinking about your own flaws and mistakes. It is because at times anger arises from Takabbur, meaning a person thinks that he is better than others and others are inferior to him, and that is why he expresses his anger freely at others. Therefore, Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ suggested that a person should reflect on his own weaknesses and should think that the reason I am becoming so angry with this other person is one of those weaknesses. If I was a better person, I would not have felt so excessively angry on others. Reflecting on one’s own flaws in this way helps reduce the anger.

However, a person needs to be reflective and insightful to be able to make efforts to bring his anger under control. If he does not care at all about his unjustified angry behavior, and what harsh words he uses or what harms he causes to other people as a result of his anger, then his anger will remain untreatable. So, the first step to treating one’s uncontrolled, excessive anger is to become reflective. The treatments the Sufi saints prescribe only work once a person starts worrying about the extent and impact of his anger, and how to bring it under control. That is why Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ has said that when you get angry with someone, start reflecting on your own flaws and weaknesses. This will Insha’allah reduce the intensity of your anger.

The second treatment of anger: move away from the person

The second treatment of anger described by Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ is that,

“Either immediately move away from the person you are angry with, or move him away from you, whichever is appropriate.”

When someone gets really angry with someone, they generally tend to move towards him, so that he can lash out at the other person, either verbally or physically. This generally inflames the anger even further. That is why Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ is saying that when you get angry with someone, either immediately move away from him, or move him away from yourself. This will prevent your anger being inflamed further.

Do not discipline children when you are feeling really angry

Similarly, if you are feeling angry with your child, or someone else who is a subordinate or an employee, do not tell them off or punish them when you are feeling really angry. Because when a person is extremely angry, there is a much higher risk that they will transgress boundaries of Shariah. So, do not say anything when you are really angry, and give yourself some time to cool down. Once your temper is in control, call that person to yourself, tell him about his mistake, and if you need to inform him off, do it then. Because your anger has subsided, you would be much less likely to transgress boundaries under the influence of your anger.

The third treatment of anger: remind yourself of Allah Ta’ala’s punishment

The third treatment of anger Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ described is,

“Remind yourself of Allah Ta’ala’s punishment.”

This treatment is also derived from the Ahadith of the Holy Prophet ﷺ. It has been narrated in a hadith that once Hadhrat Siddiq Akbar (may Allah be pleased with him) was scolding his slave. When the Holy Prophet ﷺ saw him doing that, he said,

“Allah Ta’ala has more power over you than you have over him.”

What he meant was that you are punishing this slave because he has done something that upset you, and you are angry with him. Just think about it that if Allah Ta’ala became angry with you and decided to punish you, where would you be. Reminding oneself of Allah Ta’ala’s power over us helps reduce a person’s anger.

Further on, Hadhrat said, “reflect on your past sins and do Istighfar frequently”. This is also part of the first treatment Hadhrat had described which said that a person should reflect on his own sins and do Istighfar frequently.

So, in this quote Hadhrat Thanavi رحمہ اللہ has described three treatments for bringing one’s excessive anger under control. If a person tries to put these into practice when he is feeling angry, Insha’allah he will not get overwhelmed by his anger. May Allah Ta’ala grant us all the ability to put these teachings into practice. Aameen

وآخر دعوا ان الحمد ﷲ رب العالمين