{"id":13211,"date":"2022-02-01T01:31:07","date_gmt":"2022-01-31T20:31:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/muftitaqiusmani.com\/en\/?p=13211"},"modified":"2022-02-22T14:06:13","modified_gmt":"2022-02-22T09:06:13","slug":"control-your-anger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/muftitaqiusmani.com\/en\/control-your-anger\/","title":{"rendered":"CONTROL YOUR ANGER"},"content":{"rendered":"
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CONTROL YOUR ANGER <\/span><\/h1>\n

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (may Allah Ta\u2019ala be pleased with him) has narrated that once a person presented himself before the Holy Prophet \ufdfa and said, \u201cO\u2019 Prophet of Allah! Please give me some advice, and please make it brief.\u201d So, even though he was asking for advice, he also put in a condition that it should be brief. The Holy Prophet \ufdfa did not show any displeasure upon this restriction. Therefore, while interpreting this Hadith (saying of the Holy Prophet \ufdfa) Muhaddithin (scholars of the knowledge of Hadith) have said that if a person is asking for advice and requests to make it brief, then this is not against etiquettes, as he may be in a hurry but also wants to learn something about Deen (religion) in the short time available.<\/p>\n

The Holy Prophet \ufdfa said to him,<\/p>\n

“\u0644\u0627 \u062a\u063a\u0636\u0628”<\/p>\n

meaning \u201cdo not be angry\u201d.<\/p>\n

If a person correctly follows this brief advice of the Holy Prophet \ufdfa he may be able to stop himself from committing thousands of sins.<\/p>\n

THE TWO MOTIVES BEHIND SINS, ANGER AND DESIRE<\/span>
\nIf a person looks closely then he will notice that there are two kinds of motives or emotions that lie behind all the sins committed in this world, whether they be related to rights of Allah (\u062d\u0642\u0648\u0642 \u0627\u0644\u0651\u0670\u0644\u06c1) or rights of people (\u062d\u0642\u0648\u0642 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0628\u0627\u062f). One is anger, and the other is desire. Desire can be Halal (permissible), like desire for eating good food that a person can obtain through Halal means. Or the desire can be Hara\u2019am (unlawful), for example, desire of owning more and more wealth leading a person to engage in theft or robbery. Similarly, anger can sometimes be appropriate, for example if another person attacks his person, property or honour unduly, but if one acts in anger where it is not due, it can lead to many sins.<\/p>\n

Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) used to say that the matter of this Hadith, i.e. controlling one\u2019s anger, is one of the major requirements of Tareeqat (Tasawuf, \u062a\u0635\u0648\u0641). If a person wants to progress in the way of Allah and wants to go through Tazkiah (Tazkiah literally means purification, in this context it refers to self-purification), then the first step in that journey will be to control his anger.<\/p>\n

ANGER IS A NATURAL EMOTION<\/span>
\nAnger has been made a part of every human being\u2019s nature by Allah Ta\u2019ala. There is no human being who never gets angry. If a human being manages to control this emotion, then this can prevent him from coming to harm in many situations.<\/p>\n

If a person never gets angry, then he won\u2019t be able to defend himself if some enemy attacks him or his honour. Therefore, it is fully permissible to use anger to defend oneself, and Shariah has not placed any restriction on it. This is the reason Allah Ta\u2019ala has given the emotion of anger to human beings, to defend himself, his property, and his family. This is an appropriate use of anger.<\/p>\n

SINS THAT CAN RESULT FROM EXCESSIVE ANGER<\/span>
\nIf the emotion of anger is not under a person\u2019s control, then it can lead to numerous sins. \u2018Takabbur\u2019 (believing that one is superior to others, and other people are inferior to that person), \u2018Hassad\u2019 (jealousy) and \u2018Bughz\u2019 (resentment) all arise from inappropriate anger. If a person is unable to control his temper and gets unduly angry with a subordinate, he can hurt him physically, he can abuse him, he can scream and yell at him, or he can hurt his feelings unduly. All of these acts are major sins which can take place as a result of him not being able to control his anger. The Holy Prophet \ufdfa said,<\/p>\n

\u201cAbusing a Muslims is one of the worst sins, and killing him is Kufr (disbelief).\u201d<\/p>\n

Similarly, if someone says something harsh to another person which hurts his feelings, it is a major sin. And all these things happen when someone loses their temper on someone who is their subordinate.<\/p>\n

ANGER ALSO LEADS TO \u2018BUGHZ\u2019 (RESENTMENT)<\/span>
\nIf a person gets very angry with someone who is not a subordinate, for example is his boss, or is someone in authority, then he may not dare to say anything or express his anger in his presence, but in such circumstances excessive anger often leads to Gheebat (backbiting). Sometimes even after doing a lot of Gheebat, a person\u2019s anger still doesn\u2019t cool down. Because he is so angry he feels like causing the other person harm but is unable to do so because of the other person\u2019s power or position. This constant insatiable feeling of anger leads to resentment (Bughz). Then the person starts harbouring wishes of harming the other person all the time, and if he comes to harm through some other means, then the angry person feels happy. This is Bughz (resentment) which is a sin in itself, and arises from uncontrolled anger.<\/p>\n

ANGER ALSO GIVES RISE TO HASSAD (JEALOUSY)<\/span>
\nIf instead of coming to harm, the person who was being resented comes across some good news, like receiving a lot of money, or getting a good job, then the person who resents him starts wishing that he loses or job, or suffer a financial loss. This is called Hassad (jealousy) and this also arises out of uncontrolled anger. So, excessive, uncontrolled, anger always leads to sins, whether the person has control over the person he is angry with, or not. The person gets involved in so many sins purely because of being unable to control his anger. That is why the Holy Prophet \ufdfa has advised, \u201cDo not be angry\u201d.<\/p>\n

Similarly, while praising virtuous Muslims, the Holy Quran says:<\/p>\n

\u201c…and those who control anger and forgive people…\u201d (3:134)<\/p>\n

meaning virtuous Muslims are those who control their anger and forgive people, so that they refrain from the sins mentioned above.<\/p>\n

UNDUE ANGER LEADS TO VIOLATION OF RIGHTS OF PEOPLE<\/span>
\nAs mentioned previously, there are two main drivers making people commit sins; desire, and anger. However, even though the sins people commit under the influence of desire are very serious, but usually these sins belong to the category of rights of Allah, and if a person performs Taubah (repentance), these sins will Insha’Allah (God willing) be forgiven
\nand erased from that person\u2019s balance sheet of good and bad deeds. On the other hand, sins arising out of anger usually belong to the category of rights of people, for example, hitting someone, or abusing someone, or hurting someone\u2019s feelings, as a result of being angry with them. Similarly, doing backbiting, becoming jealous with someone, or developing resentment towards someone, as a result of anger, are all violations of rights of other people. And violation of rights of other people is such a serious matter that even if a person vows to never violate other people\u2019s rights again and performs repentance (Taubah), even then his Taubah will not be accepted and his sins will not be forgiven, until the person whose rights have been violated forgives him.<\/p>\n

Allah Ta\u2019ala says that if you perform Taubah then I will forgive you for My rights that you have violated, but I will not forgive you for the sin of violating other people\u2019s rights, until they forgive you. If we reflect on our life, how many people\u2019s rights have we violated throughout our entire life? How many times have we said bad things about other people, defamed other people, taken their money against their will? How are we now going to reach out to all those people and ask them for forgiveness? That is why violating other people\u2019s rights is such a serious matter, and that is why the Holy Prophet \ufdfa has given us this brief but very comprehensive advice, \u201cDo not be angry\u201d. When a person brings his anger under control then Allah Ta\u2019ala says that now that My slave has controlled his anger I will also not deal with him with anger.<\/p>\n

THE GREAT REWARD FOR BEING PATIENT WITH OTHERS<\/span>
\nIn a Hadith, the Holy Prophet \ufdfa said that on the Day of Judgment a person will be brought before Allah Ta\u2019ala. Allah Ta\u2019ala will ask the angels, \u201cTell me what good deeds has he got in his account?\u201d The angels will reply, \u201cO Allah Ta\u2019ala! He doesn\u2019t have too many good deeds in his account. He neither read too many Nawafil (non-mandatory Salah), nor did he pray a lot. However, he had one special virtue. If anyone hurt him or caused him harm, he used to forgive that person. Similarly, if someone owed money to him and said that he didn\u2019t have the means to pay it back at the due date, then he told his servants that this person cannot afford to pay so forgo my loan, and gave up his rights.\u201d Upon hearing this Allah Ta\u2019ala would say, \u201cThis person showed mercy towards my slaves, and forgave them his rights. Today I will show him mercy and will forgive him.\u201d So, Allah Ta\u2019ala will grant him Maghfirah (deliverance) for showing kindness to fellow human beings.<\/p>\n

CONTROLLING ONE\u2019S ANGER IS THE FIRST STEP IN TAZKIAH<\/span>
\nWhen Hadhrat Shah Abu Saeed Ganguhi (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) went for his internal purification (Tazkiyah), he wasn\u2019t told to start reciting Tasbeeh, or doing Dhikr (Allah\u2019s remembrance), or read Nawafil (non-obligatory Salah). Rather he was initially taught how to get rid of Takabbur (believing that one is superior to others, and the others are inferior), to develop motivation to deal kindly with Allah\u2019s creations, and how to control his anger, which is often a precursor of Takabbur and its related behaviours.<\/p>\n

Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) used to say that the first step in the way of Tasawuf is learning how to control one\u2019s anger. Once a human being learns that, he\/she becomes superior to angels. Angels do not have anger in their temperament. If they then do not harm other people, it is not a virtue, because they do not have any innate desire to do so. Allah Ta\u2019ala says that I have put the emotion of anger in human being\u2019s temperament. If they then control their anger because of My fear and My love, they then become superior to angels.<\/p>\n

AN INCIDENT OF IMAM ABU HANIFAH (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him)<\/span>
\nAllah Ta\u2019ala had blessed Iman Abu Hanifah RE with an exalted status in his time so there were a number of people who were jealous of him too. As a result, there were some people who bad-mouthed him, both in his presence and in his absence. One day when he was going home, such a person started following and abusing him. When Imam Abu Hanifah RE got to the street where his home was situated, he stopped and said to that person, \u201cFrom here, our ways will separate as my home is near here. I will just stand here and you can abuse me as you wish to. Once you are finished I will go home. I do not want you to remain dissatisfied that you wanted to say something more.\u201d This story is recorded in history books.<\/p>\n

ANOTHER INCIDENT OF IMAM ABU HANIFAH (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him)<\/span>
\nFor forty years Imam Abu Hanifah RE prayed Fajr prayer with the Wudu (ablution) that he had done for Isha prayer. And it wasn\u2019t that he slept after Fajr (morning) Salah. He was a businessman and he was also a religious teacher so he performed these activities in the morning and used to sleep after Zuhur (afternoon) Salah. One day when he had just laid down to rest after Zuhur Salah in his first-floor home, someone knocked on the door downstairs. Imagine the distress of someone who has been awake the whole night and the whole morning and has just laid down to rest. However, Imam Abu Hanifah RE came downstairs and opened the door. There was a person there who said that he wanted to ask a religious question. Even though Imam Abu Hanifah RE had a set time in the morning to answer religious questions, he didn\u2019t say anything and asked, \u201cWhat question do you want to ask?\u201d The person said that he had forgotten the question he wanted to ask. Imam Abu Hanifah RE said, \u201cThat\u2019s okay. When you do remember the question do come and ask.\u201d He then went back to bed.<\/p>\n

As soon as Imam Abu Hanifah RE had laid down on the bed, there was another knock on the door downstairs. When he opened the door, he saw the same person standing there who said, \u201cHadhrat, I am sorry. I remembered my question after you left but by the time you came back downstairs I had forgotten it.\u201d Imam Abu Hanifah RE didn\u2019t become angry and simply said, \u201cIt is okay. When you do remember the question do come and ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

As soon as Imam Abu Hanifah RE laid down in bed again, there was another knock. When he opened the door again it was the same person who said, \u201cImam sahib! Now I remember the question. Is human faeces sweet or bitter in taste?\u201d Had it been any other person he would have lost his temper but Imam Abu Hanifah RE had tamed his anger through Tazkiah (inner purification). He simply answered the question and didn\u2019t show any anger. At this the person said, \u201cImam sahib! I beg your forgiveness. You beat me today.\u201d Imam Abu Hanifah RE asked, \u201cHow did I beat you?\u201d He replied, \u201cI was arguing with a friend. I was saying that Hadhrat Sufyan Suri (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) is the humblest and most mild-mannered person on earth, and he was saying that you are the humblest and most mild-mannered person on earth. To test you I thought that I will bother you during the time you usually rest in, and then I will ask such a silly question. If you became angry then I will win, and if you didn\u2019t become angry then my friend will win. But you have defeated me. I have not seen a humbler person on earth who has as much control over his anger as you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

BEING MILD-TEMPERED BRINGS MAGNIFICENCE<\/span><\/p>\n

The Holy Prophet \ufdfa said in a prayer,<\/p>\n

\u201cO Allah! Please grant me Ghina (\u063a\u0646\u0627) (being carefree) through knowledge, and adorn me with mild-temperedness.\u201d<\/p>\n

It means that being mild-tempered brings beauty and adornment to a person\u2019s personality.<\/p>\n

The first step on the way to self-purification is controlling one\u2019s anger. That is why the Holy Prophet \ufdfa advised, \u201cDo not be angry\u201d, and this is a very good way of avoiding the wrath of Allah Ta\u2019ala.<\/p>\n

HOW TO CONTROL ONE\u2019S ANGER<\/span>
\nThe Holy Quran and Sunnah do not just order us not to be angry, they also tell us about ways of bringing one\u2019s anger under control. If practiced regularly these strategies help a person keep his\/her anger under control.<\/p>\n

One of the first things to understand in this regard is to be able to differentiate between experiencing the emotion of anger, and the behaviour that follows from that anger. If a person comes across a situation in which something happens that he finds distasteful or unpleasant, then it is natural to sometimes get feelings of anger, and become emotional. Up to this stage feeling these emotions is beyond his control, and therefore, there is no sin in experiencing such emotions. However, the behaviour that follows the experience of that emotion, whether, physical or verbal, is, or should be, under a person\u2019s control, and he is accountable for all those behaviours. For example, if a person becomes angry over something but keeps his behaviour in check, expresses his anger in a mild and polite manner, and leaves it at that, then there is no sin in that behaviour. However, in the same situation, if the person loses complete control of his anger, becomes physically or verbally abusive, and causes undue emotional or physical harm to someone, then it will become a major sin.<\/p>\n

READ (\u0627 \u0639\u0648\u0630 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0651\u0670\u0644\u06c1) (I SEEK REFUGE WITH ALLAH)<\/span>
\nWhenever you start feeling angry and you feel you will be overcome by your anger, first do what the Holy Quran has advised us to do. Allah Ta\u2019ala says;<\/p>\n

\u201cShould a stroke from the Satan strike you, seek refuge with Allah. Surely, He is All- Hearing, All-Knowing.\u201d (7:200)<\/p>\n

This means that whenever we feel that the Satan is trying to incite us to commit a sin, we should seek Allah\u2019s refuge and recite \u0627\u0639\u0648\u0630 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0651\u0670\u0644\u06c1 \u0645\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u06cc\u0637\u0670\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0631\u062c\u06cc\u0645. If we do so, Insha’Allah (God willing) Allah Ta\u2019ala will then protect us from the bad consequences of our anger. Therefore, we should try to practice and develop this habit that whenever we start becoming angry, we recite \u0627\u0639\u0648\u0630 \u0628\u0627\u0644\u0651\u0670\u0644\u06c1\u06d4\u06d4\u06d4<\/p>\n

WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY SIT DOWN OR LIE DOWN<\/span>
\nThe second act to perform when someone is becoming angry, is what the Holy Prophet \ufdfa has advised us to do. He advised us that whenever you are becoming excessively angry, if you are standing then sit down, and if you are sitting then lie down.<\/p>\n

It is a natural accompaniment of anger that, if a person is lying down he sits up when angry, and if he is sitting he stands up in anger. That is why the Holy Prophet \ufdfa has taught
\nus this strategy that at time of anger, you act deliberately against that impulse, and bring yourself down in position.<\/p>\n

In another narration, it has been said that the person should drink cold water at that time.<\/p>\n

ALLAH TA\u2019ALA HAS MORE POWER OVER US<\/span>
\nOne other strategy is that when a person is feeling very angry towards someone else, he should pause for a moment and think that if Allah Ta\u2019ala becomes as angry with me as I am with this person, then what will happen to me.<\/p>\n

It is narrated in a Hadith that once the Holy Prophet \ufdfa was going somewhere. On the way, he saw that Hadhrat Siddiq Akbar (may Allah Ta\u2019ala be pleased with him) was scolding a slave in anger. In a narration, it says that at that time the Holy Prophet \ufdfa said to him,<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember that Allah Ta\u2019ala has much more control and power over you, than you have on this person.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is a lesson for all of us to remind ourselves when we are getting angry with and causing distress to someone we have authority over, that Allah Ta\u2019ala holds infinitely more authority over us.<\/p>\n

ALLAH TA\u2019ALA\u2019S FORBEARANCE<\/span>
\nAllah Ta\u2019ala shows so much forbearance with His creations that even though people keep disobeying Him all the time, commit Kufr (disbelief), associate others with Him committing Shirk, deny His existence, and yet He keeps providing sustenance to people all the time. In fact, some of the people who disobey Him the most, have been granted the greatest of wealth. There is no limit to Allah Ta\u2019ala\u2019s tolerance. That is why it has been said,<\/p>\n

\u201cCreate Allah\u2019s manners in yourself\u201d.<\/p>\n

If Allah Ta\u2019ala shows forbearance and tolerance towards us and does not become angry with us, then we should try to do the same and not be angry with people who are our subordinates.<\/p>\n

HADHRAT ABU BAKR SIDDIQ RAA SCOLDING HIS SLAVE<\/span>
\nIn another narration it is stated that when the Holy Prophet \ufdfa saw Hadhrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (may Allah Ta\u2019ala be pleased with him) scolding his slave, he said,<\/p>\n

\u201cOn one hand you curse your slave, and on the other hand you become Siddiq. By the Master of Ka\u2019abah this cannot happen,\u201d<\/p>\n

What he meant was that cursing your slave is not compatible with the status of Siddiq. This is how the Holy Prophet \ufdfa advised Hadhrat Abu Bakr RAA not to act on his anger. The lesson for us is that whenever we begin to get angry with someone we must remind ourselves that Allah Ta\u2019ala holds much greater authority and power over me than I have over this person. If Allah Ta\u2019ala begins to get angry with me the same way I am getting angry with this person, then where will I find refuge? These are the various strategies of controlling our anger that the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet \ufdfa have taught us.<\/p>\n

WHEN STARTING ON THE WAY OF TAZKIAH SUPPRESS ANGER COMPLETELY<\/span>
\nThere are instances when it is appropriate and permissible to express one\u2019s anger, within certain limits. However, anger is such a powerful emotion that once it takes over a person\u2019s mind, the person can lose complete control of his thinking and analysing ability. When someone is really angry, it is often not possible for them to analyse a situation objectively to decide whether they have a right to express anger in that particular situation. Similarly, Shariah has set limits that if someone has harmed or hurt you, you can hurt them to the same extent but no more. Hurting them more becomes a major sin. Once someone has become really angry, it is very difficult for them to restrict himself to these limits, because uncontrolled anger often leads people to hurt the other person as much as they can.
\nFor these reasons, when a person starts going through Tazkiah (purification of one\u2019s thoughts and emotions) it is preferable that they stop expressing anger in all situations, including those situations in which they may feel that expressing anger is justified. Moderating one\u2019s behaviour when angry is an attribute that requires great patience and tolerance. When a person keeps his anger in check in all situations over a period of time, only then they are able to develop such control over their anger that they can begin to decide in a particular situation whether it is permissible under Shariah to become angry, and if yes, how much. This is why beginners in Tasawuf are required not to express anger at all.<\/p>\n

MODERATION IN ANGER<\/span>
\nIn some situations, anger is required. For example, a father may need to scold his children if they have done something very wrong, or a teacher may have to express anger at his students, or a Sheikh (spiritual teacher) at his disciples, to correct their behaviour. However, it is important to express only as much anger as is necessary to correct their behaviour, and not become excessively angry. If a person goes overboard with his anger, it means that his behaviour is now being driven by his emotions, and not by a desire to help his student or child or disciple to improve their behaviour. Becoming excessively angry in such situations then becomes a sin, and often tends to bring outcomes opposite to what was originally intended.<\/p>\n

NOT ACTING WHEN ANGRY<\/span>
\nHadhrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) used to say that \u201cdo not scold or punish your children, students, or disciples when you are angry. Because it is likely that if you do it then, you will exceed the limits of Shariah. Be quiet at that time. Then when your anger has subsided, then tell them what they have done wrong. You will be much less likely to exceed limits if you scold them when you are not angry, but if you do it when you are still overcome with emotions, you are much more likely the go beyond the limits of Shariah.\u201d<\/p>\n

Similarly, he used to say that, \u201ceven when I am telling a disciple off (people who wanted to have their Tazkiah done under the supervision of Hadhrat Thanvi RE used to come and stay at his seminary) for what they have done wrong, right at that moment I still remain mindful that he is better in the eyes of Allah Ta\u2019ala than I am, I am only doing this because I have been tasked to do so. And at the same time, I keep praying to Allah Ta\u2019ala that O\u2019 Allah! Please do not judge me on the day of Qiyamah (Day of Judgment) as harshly as I am judging him now. Whatever I am doing is in submission of what you have tasked me to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

THE FOUR SIGNS OF PERFECT IMAN (FAITH)<\/span>
\nWhen is it appropriate to express one\u2019s anger?<\/p>\n

In a Hadith, the Holy Prophet \ufdfa said,<\/p>\n

\u201cThe person who when he gives something to someone, he gives it for Allah, when he stops from spending something, he stops spending for the sake of Allah, if he loves someone he loves them for Allah, and if he keeps enmity with someone he does it for Allah, his Iman (faith) is perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Holy Prophet \ufdfa has vouched for that person\u2019s Iman to be perfect who has these four attributes.<\/p>\n

THE FIRST SIGN OF PERFECT IMAN (FAITH)<\/span>
\nThe first sign of perfect Iman (faith), as told by the Holy Prophet \ufdfa, is that when a person gives something to someone, they do so solely to please Allah Ta\u2019ala. We spend money for a lot of reasons, to fulfil our own needs, to fulfil the needs of our family, we spend on Sadaqah and Khairat (non-obligatory charity), when spending money for any of these reasons we must do so with the intention of pleasing Allah Ta\u2019ala. For example, when giving Sadaqah and Khairat, our intention should only be that I am giving this charity to please Allah Ta\u2019ala, and to earn Thawab (reward in the Hereafter). One should not do it with an intention of earning fame or other people\u2019s praise. Only then it would fall within the meaning of \u2018giving it for Allah\u2019.<\/p>\n

THE SECOND SIGN OF PERFECT IMAN (FAITH)<\/span>
\nThe second sign is that if a person stops from spending something, he stops for the sake of Allah. For example, if a person stops himself from spending with the intention that Allah Ta\u2019ala and Allah\u2019s Prophet \ufdfa have forbidden us from spending money wastefully, then he would be stopping himself for Allah.<\/p>\n

THIRD AND FOURTH SIGNS OF PERFECT IMAN (FAITH)<\/span>
\nThe third sign is that if a person loves someone, they do so purely for the sake of pleasing Allah Ta\u2019ala. For example, if someone loves a Wali-Ullah (man of Allah), he does so solely out of his love for Allah with the intention that spending time in that person\u2019s company will bring them closer to Allah, and not for any material gains. If someone loves somebody only to seek Allah Ta\u2019ala\u2019s pleasure, then such love is a sign of perfect Iman. Similarly, all of a person\u2019s other relationships should be subservient to his relationship with Allah Ta\u2019ala.<\/p>\n

The fourth sign is that a person\u2019s anger and resentment with anyone should only be for the sake of Allah Ta\u2019ala. It means the anger is not because of any hatred for that person, it is anger towards some specific act which is sinful, and is a source of displeasure from Allah Ta\u2019ala. The easy way to tell the difference between the two is that if the person stops engaging in that sin, then the anger should go away. If that is the case, then this anger was for Allah Ta\u2019ala, and this was an appropriate reason for being angry.<\/p>\n

HATE THE ACT, NOT THE PERSON<\/span>
\nOne important point to remember is that when one becomes angry with someone for Allah\u2019s sake, the anger is not directed towards that person, it is towards his beliefs and actions. The hatred should be towards the kufr (disbelief), not the disbeliever, it should be with the sin, not the sinner. If a person is involved in sins or kufr, he is like a person who has been afflicted by an illness, the illness of sin or kufr. We never resent a sick person, we resent his illness. If people started hating sick people, who will look after them? That is why if the sinner gives up his sins, there should be no remaining resentment, no anger, because the anger wasn\u2019t inter- personal.<\/p>\n

ANGER SHOULD ONLY BE FOR ALLAH\u2019S SAKE<\/span>
\nIf anger is only for Allah\u2019s sake it never leads to personal enmities and resentments because the person who the other person is angry with, also realizes that the anger is not directed towards him as a person, rather it is directed only at his specific acts or behaviours. That is why this kind of anger does not lead to personal enmities and does not upset people because they know that whatever this person is saying is solely for the sake of Allah. That is why it has been said that if a person has love for someone, that is for Allah\u2019s sake, and if the person is angry with someone that is for Allah\u2019s sake too. But what is most important is that this anger is tamed and remains within the limits of Shariah so that a person only gets angry where Shariah allows it, and only gets as much angry as Shariah allows. This can only be achieved through the benefit of company (Suhbat) of those people who have themselves gone through Tazkiah (internal purification).<\/p>\n

THE STORY OF HADHRAT ALI (May Allah Ta\u2019ala be pleased with him)<\/span>
\nOnce a non-Muslim made some insulting comments about the Holy Prophet \ufdfa in front of Hadhrat Ali RAA. Hadhrat Ali RAA could not tolerate anyone saying anything derogatory about the Holy Prophet \ufdfa. He threw that person on the ground and got on top of him. When that person saw that he was powerless, he spat on Hadhrat Ali\u2019s RAA face. As soon as he did that Hadhrat Ali RAA got up and let go of him. Someone said, \u201cHadhrat! Now he was being even more insulting. Why did you let him go?\u201d Hadhrat Ali RAA replied, \u201cInitially when I attacked him, it was out of my love for the Holy Prophet \ufdfa because he had insulted him which made me angry. When he spat on my face I became even more angry. But if I hit him now it would have been for my own person. That is why I let him go.\u201d<\/p>\n

USE PRETEND ANGER WHEN SCOLDING MINORS
\nBecause of this \u2018anger for Allah\u2019 sometimes a person has to express anger, particularly at those people who are under his charge in some way, for example, a teacher at his students, parents at their children, a Sheikh at his disciples. But this anger must be kept within limits and should not exceed the limits set by Shariah. As mentioned above in the
\nadvice given by Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) it is important not to express anger in such situations when overcome by strong emotions, as the risk of transgressing limits would be much higher then. Rather the teacher should wait till his anger subsides, and then scold them with pretend anger. This is obviously difficult because most people get carried away in anger. Therefore, unless a person practices it again and again, particularly while going through Tazkiah (internal purification), it is a very difficult skill to develop.<\/p>\n

THE RISK OF EXPRESSING EXCESSIVE ANGER AT MINORS<\/span>
\nIf a person we are expressing anger at, is the same age as us or older than us, then they can tell us if they don\u2019t like what we say, or can express anger at us in return. However, if the person we are getting angry at is younger than us, or is our subordinate, then they are not in a position to express their displeasure or take revenge. Therefore, we may not even realize how badly we have hurt their feelings or insulted them, and because we won\u2019t know we won\u2019t even be able to ask for forgiveness for that excessive anger.<\/p>\n

Violating rights of minors is a very delicate matter, so much so that Hadhrat Thanvi \u0612 that teachers who teach young children should be extra careful because they are minors and in Shariah forgiveness by minors is not valid. It means that if they die before becoming adults and forgiving the teachers for any excesses they may have committed, then there won\u2019t be any way for the teacher to ask for forgiveness for any excessive anger they expressed, and they will have to atone for the violated rights of the minors on the Day of Judgment.<\/p>\n

MISUSE OF \u0628\u063a\u0636 \u0641\u06cc \u0627\u0644\u0651\u0670\u0644\u06c1 (ANGER FOR ALLAH)<\/span>
\nWhile it is correct that our anger should only be for the sake of Allah Ta\u2019ala, some people misunderstand the meaning of this completely. For example, when some people start turn towards religion, they start believing that they are superior and virtuous, while everyone else is inferior and is a sinner. They start thinking that their parents, their siblings, their friends, are all sinners, and will go to Hell (Jahannam), while they are the only ones who will go to paradise (Jannah). They start believing that Allah Ta\u2019ala has created them to bring everyone else to the right path. They start being angry with their family and friends, start insulting and ridiculing them, start using harsh words with them, ad start violating their rights. The Satan makes them believe that whatever they are doing is for the sake of Allah, while in reality it is their Takabbur (arrogance, believing that we are superior to others and others are inferior to us) and egotism leading them to such behaviour.<\/p>\n

That is why people who have just started following the path of Allah sometimes cause more harm than good, by being angry with other people excessively, criticizing other harshly, and getting into fights over religion. Such behaviour often puts other people off religion, rather than attract them towards it.<\/p>\n

ALLAMA SHABBIR AHMAD USMANI\u2019S ADVICE<\/span>
\nAllama Shabbir Ahmad Usmani (may Allah Ta\u2019ala bless him) used to say that if right advice, is given in the right way, with right intentions, it is always effective, and never leads to discord. So, he set three conditions; the advice should be right, the intention should be right, and the manner in which it is delivered should be right. For example, if someone is engaged in a sin, he should be counselled about the nature of that mistake, but the intention should be that my brother gets out of this mistake, it should not be to prove how righteous and better than others we are. The intention shouldn\u2019t be to humiliate others. And it should be done privately in a very polite and gentle manner, the person shouldn\u2019t be embarrassed in front of others. If these three conditions are met, then generally such Tableegh (preaching) will not lead to discord.<\/p>\n

WE HAVE NOT BEEN SENT TO STAND GUARD OVER OTHERS<\/span>
\nEven if we start following Allah Ta\u2019ala\u2019s path, it does not mean that from now on we have some superiority over others, and it has become our responsibility that they behave appropriately and correctly at all times. We should not start becoming angry if we perceive that they are not following Allah\u2019s path correctly. Our job is just to keep conveying Allah\u2019s message in the correct manner, with the correct intentions, and to keep doing it. Even if doesn\u2019t work immediately we should not become despondent or frustrated, and we must never do anything that leads to discord between people.
\nMay Allah Ta\u2019ala bless us with the ability to control our anger, and to use it only within the boundaries set by the Shariah. Ameen<\/p>\n

\u0648\u0627\u0653\u062e\u0631 \u062f\u0639\u0648\u0627 \u0627\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0645\u062f \ufdf2 \u0631\u0628 \u0627\u0644\u0639\u0627\u0644\u0645\u064a\u0646<\/span><\/p>\n<\/section>\n